We celebrated Easter today at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church. We all went, dh and the 3 kiddos. There was no crying room at this parish, nor childcare for my toddler. That made things a little distracting. But I loved the parish. Someone told me that I would “know” when it was the right one. And today, it felt right. I loved the homily, the children’s choir, the priest went around shaking “holy water” on us. I got a big splash…and LOVED it. It made me laugh, but not in a silly way, but a joyful way. I loved the stained glass windows, the intimate feel in the chapel. The priest sang the scripture and so did we. It was beautiful.

However, it was dh’s first time attending Mass with me. I’ve only been 3 times now, but I have read so much about it, it doesn’t seem as foreign to me anymore. I forgot that it would be completely different for him. I know he is doing this for me. I’m not sure if that’s a good reason or not. Anyway, I don’t think he loved it.

Sometimes I wonder if I am overstepping my boundaries, if I’m not being a “good, submissive wife”. Am I taking too much of a leadership role? He is such a wonderful husband, always seeking to keep peace in our family. When we first started homeschooling, it was because I constantly talked about it with him. He says I always get my way. And he says that with a laugh, but in a sense he is right. I like to think that God changes his heart. But is it God or is it me begging him to death until he finally gives in to keep me quiet.

Like right now…..all he hears me talking about is Catholic things. I’m practically begging him to”Please let’s start the classes! I have to go to a RCC!” Did he just give in and agree to got to Mass to keep the peace?

We aren’t the kind of family that could go to two different churches. We don’t have that kind of time for one thing. He has too many work hours and too strange of a schedule. Also, we both do not want to confuse the kids. So it will have to be one or the other. Of course if I continued to attend our Brethren church for him, I would be doing it for him….so either way one of us will be making a sacrifice. DH is not an overbearing domineering gotta have it my way kind of husband. I am so blessed. I hope I’m not overstepping my boundaries. I don’t want dh to just be coming for me though…. and that’s the kind of guy he is. He will be doing it for me. But I want him to come for Jesus and for his own relationship…and of course the children. And also for me.

He listened to a Catholic Apologist John Martignoni “One Church” with me a few nights ago. He seemed to really understand it. That’s when he agreed to go to Mass with me. But after Mass he seemed distant, and when I asked him what he thought, he told me that of course it’s hard changing. He was happy at our Brethren church.

What’s bothering him is not the difference in the two churches Teaching, Protestant vs. Catholic but rather it’s the getting used to a new place again, meeting new people and all of that. He’s ready to stay planted, not keep moving around (we’ve moved churches 3 times this past year since CC split). Crossing the Tiber isn’t the problem, it’s that he’s ready to grow “roots” in a church with our family. Make relationships for us and our children, get involved in serving. We were just starting to get acclimated to our Brethren church when God showed me the Truth. I told dh atleast God showed me NOW and not two years from now. 6 months at Brethren isn’t that long. I don’t know one person beside the pastor and a few people in the nursery whose names I keep forgetting. And dh doesn’t either.

Also, dh is blessed that he doesn’t have layers of Protestant theology to work through like me. To him the RCC is just a different worship style, and yes it makes sense to him that there is only One Church (like the CD).

But change is hard.

And I don’t understand how God would show me all of this, leading me here if it was only to have me NOT convert. That wouldn’t make sense. And I feel responsible to raise up my children with a correct understanding of Sacred Scripture and Tradition. I want them to learn all about the Catholic faith WITH me while they are still young. I want to enjoy all of this with DH. I can’t imagine him not coming with me. And I’m not sure what my response could be to the Truth other than moving forward. I need to keep praying.

The kids don’t love it either. They miss the social part of the other church. DD especially.

Sigh…..I wish I could wave my magic wand and make everything just right for my family. Time…it will take time.

On a funny note, both dh and ds were listening to the homily because Father said something about Jesus dying on a tree for our sins. I was outside with dd at the time who was very loud. Anyway, they both questioned this….ds and dh because usually we say and read Jesus died on the Cross. So they were asking me why Father phrased it that way. So I looked it up in the Bible, and found it in 1 Peter 2:24. And that is exactly what St. Peter says,

“who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness–by whose stripes you were healed.”

Of course it was a tree, the wood came from a tree. Anyway, dh said, atleast you’ve got thinkers in this family. And they were paying attention! And I thought to myself, Father was just reading straight out of the Bible. I don’t have the homily in front of me anymore, but I bet the reading was from 1 Peter 2:24 today. Isn’t that funny….those Catholics are always changing or adding to Scripture. Tree for Cross, can you imagine. LOL

Update: I decided to look up the homily for myself and the reading was actually from the book of Acts 10:39:

“And we are witnesses of all things which He did both in the land of the Jews and in Jerusalem, whom they killed by hanging on a tree.”