Since Easter it seems I’ve hit sort of a pleasant plugging along stage…..no great doubts these past few days. Infact I am feeling quite joyful! I don’t tease myself for I’m sure there’ll be more days of doubting ahead. But it seems that I’ve entered a new stage. Now that I’ve decided both intellectually AND with my heart that the Roman Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus founded on Peter…..passed down to our present generation, the Church that He has been wooing me to these past few months well….now that I have decided to reconcile to Rome…to come home to the fullness of my faith….what does this mean in a practical way? In other words, now what?

Well, I think it means I need to get about the Lord’s work. I need to start practicing this faith out. I need to start being a Catholic Christian. I need to pray and discern his will for me….I’ve been so busy studying about the Catholic Church and early church history, and boy has it been exciting! But I’m beginning to feel a little guilty. All this reading about doing good works, how we should be offering up our sufferings and so on. All the time I’m thinking “Yes, AMEN!”" Preach it brother!” Well, I’m not doing anything but reading books. I’m still sitting here in my cozy house, in my cozy Christian bubble, homeschooling my kids in my cozy neighborhood, sleeping in my cozy bed. I’m ready to start practicing what I’m learning. I’m ready to start living out my faith. But I’m not sure how to get started. I mean, I know I’m the same Christian I was before my conversion and I can be doing those same things I did before to serve Jesus. I still read my Bible. I still pray. I still serve my children and dh and my neighbors (or try to). I’m attending Mass. It’s hard to explain. But I’m ready to dig deeper, do more….yet I still don’t feel equipped. I feel like such a babe in Christ.

I think my next steps will come as I begin my RCIA classes. I’m starting to see the wisdom of having to participate in this program for a year’s time. When I first “saw the light” so to speak of the RCC, I just wanted IN! Let me IN! I want to partake of the Eucharist NOW. I can’t wait any longer. I want to come HOME. What do you mean I have to take classes?!? I’ve been a believer my ENTIRE LIFE. You don’t understand! I’ve studied the Bible forever. I’m ready. Really I’m ready! Please, don’t make me wait! That can’t be right. A year? And one of the parishes actually told me it could take 2 years! 2 years?! That’s absurd!

But now I realize how much needs to be purged in myself. I have many cracks in this clay that need to be chipped away (pride, legalism, selfishness to name a few). I’m thinking….or hoping…..that once I begin my RCIA classes, as I study out the practical applications of being Catholic, the Lord will be able to show me little by little what needs to change. How to change. What my next steps will be. He has got much work to do in me…I have much work to do. I’m so excited!  But I can see why this process needs several months, even years to take root in a permanent way.   So that God can mold me, purge me, change me……

My first RCIA inquiry class is next Thursday and dh is coming too! Since Easter he has been expressing a change of heart. He actually had to verbalize our change with a stranger yesterday (at the kids Tae-Kwon-Do class). Another parent peeking in at the class asked dh why the kids were facing the wall as they waited for class to begin. He explained they do this to get focused on their work, their kicks or punches or whatever. They weren’t meditating on some false God. Atleast not our boy. The lady said she was a Christian, and dh explained he was too. She asked him where we went to church. And he said “Funny you should ask. We used to go to —–, but now we go to St. Joseph’s.” She said “OH! So you’re Catholic!” He said, “Y-e-a-h….I guess so. My wife has been doing some reading and, well, we have decided we want to be Catholic now”. She paused and then changed the subject to “Where do the kids go to school?” He answered, “We homeschool!” Another “OHHHH!” No wonder you’re here! Your kids need the socialization!”

Now you’d have to understand the history. DH was opposed to homeschooling 4 years ago when we first decided. And the Lord changed his heart as kindergarten approached. Since then, he’s become a huge supporter of hs. And initially he was hoping this fancy of mine for the RCC would turn out to be just that, a passing fancy. But just as my passion for homeschooling didn’t pass, this hasn’t either. So for him to be asked both life changing questions at the same time yesterday was funny to me and to him. And how ’bout that? He answered, “Yes, I guess so, we want to be Catholic!” God bless him for that. He has come a long way in these past few months. It can only be God. Because no way in a million years if you would have told either of us even just 6 months ago that we would be studying the Catholic faith together, changing churches again and to RCC at that…would we have believed it. It can only be God.